By Ashley Roe, Contributing Writer

You’ve probably heard the quote that is attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, “Comparison is the thief of joy” and oh how true that is! Joy is something I have sought after for many years. I always wanted to be a joyful person, but for one reason or another my joy never seemed to last long. It wasn’t until I finally understood that comparison steals joy that I was able to get on the path to finding lasting joy.

The Trap of Comparison

Comparison is a dangerous trap that will only make you prideful at what you do have or disappointed in what you don’t. You simply cannot find joy in the midst of comparison. Lets look at an example of how you might find yourself caught in a comparison trap.

I am sure that you know of someone who seems to have it all. To you, her life might look something like this:

• She is in great physical shape.
• She is beautiful and has a great sense of style.
• She is a pro at tackling her to-do lists.
• She has a thoughtful husband who brings her flowers just because.
• She has two adorable and well behaved children.
• She is able to stay at home with her kids because her husband has a well paying job with benefits.
• She lives in a beautiful two story home that she has decorated to look like it came straight out of a magazine.

You might be caught in a comparison trap if you look at her life and think you would be happy if only…

• If only I were more motivated exercise, I would feel less self conscious about my body.
• If only I could buy nicer clothes, I would feel better about how I look.
• If only I were less exhausted all the time so I could get more done around the house, I would feel more accomplished as a homemaker.
• If only if my husband were less practical and gave me thoughtful gifts or notes more often, I would feel more loved.
• If only I had kids, I would feel more accepted and fulfilled.
• If only my husband were able to find a good job, I would feel more financially secure.
• If only I could move out of my cramped apartment and into a nice house, I would truly be happy.

The trouble with wishing ‘if only’ is that it will only breed discontentment.

Can I let you in on a little secret? Every one of those if only statements above are things that I have thought in the past and sometimes still struggle with today.  I have often found myself comparing my current situation to what I think my ideal life should look like. When life doesn’t happen as I hope or plan, I inevitably become discouraged. I have come to realize that even though there is nothing wrong with wanting these things, I will never find joy or contentment if I spend too much of  my time wanting what I do not have.

There is a saying that goes like this; The grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence. Everyone has struggles, even those, on the other side of the fence, who seem to have a perfect life. So Instead of wishing for greener grass, how about you learn to water the grass your standing on? If you can start learning to do this you are one step closer to experiencing true joy.

The Path to Joy

One of the most valuable lessons that I am trying to learn is that the path to joy does not start with a change in circumstance, it starts with a change of the heart. Here are a some practical things you can do right now to get your heart right so you can experience true joy.

1) Meditate on scripture:

Find some bible verses that speak to you and write them down. Keep them somewhere that you will see often to help you be encouraged throughout your day. Here are two verses to help get you started.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12 NIV

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;  I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.   John 10:10 NIV

2) Pray about your attitude:

It can be so easy to have a rotten attitude, especially if things do not go as you plan.  But remember, God has placed you in whatever situation you find yourself for a specific purpose. Ask him to help you see a little more about what that purpose might be.

3) Start a gratitude journal:

Write down at least one thing that you are thankful for everyday. You may be surprised at how quickly the pages fill up and how much fuller your heart will be as a result. Look back through it often, especially when you need a reminder of all the blessings in your life.

4) Choose joy:

Ultimately, joy is a choice. So choose joy and learn to be content with where God has you at this very moment.

If you take one thing away from reading this today I hope that it is this; True joy will never be found in wealth, health or position in life. True joy will only be found when you put your faith and hope in Jesus Christ.

What about you?

What is something that you struggle with in relation to comparison?

How do you protect yourself from comparison stealing your joy?