By Blair Allen, Guest Writer

If you have ever spent time on internet message boards you are probably all too familiar with “husband bashing”.  Here I have compiled a list of what seems to be a sure fire way to have a lazy husband.

1) Never let him be right

When having a discussion with your husband always correct at least one thing he says.  It could be his grammar, pronunciation, or just his overall thought process.  Treat each conversation if it were the last presidential debate and your point must be made before the timer runs out.  Pretty soon he will stop making the effort to share his heart with you and you wont have to be so annoyed anymore.

2) Insist that your way is always better

Be sure to make him feel at least moderately guilty when not doing things your way.  Always laugh at him when he tries.

Imagine that you need his help with getting the children ready for church because you are running behind. 8-year-old Faith has a hair thingy in her hair she has not worn since she was four,  Junior is wearing tall black socks with his shorts, and the baby has on a bib you don’t allow in public because it has a tiny stain.  Go ahead, laugh at them.

Undo everything he did and get the children ready the right way.  Watch the look in your children’s eyes as they lose a little respect for their Daddy and think of you as the smarter parent.  Your husband will stop helping in no time at all! (This is especially true if you are first time parents with a newborn!)

3) Pray for your husband constantly, but never for yourself

Pray that God will change him and mold him into a better Christian, father, husband, leader.  Lord please make him more attractive, less lazy, and while we are at it that he will get a better job.

On the contrary if you prefer your husband to be an active participant in your marriage and someone who you admire and respect try these things!

1) Let it go!

It is ok for his view to differ from yours.  Remember that you married him because you liked his outside the box way of thinking.  You liked the quirky little way he said bagel, and you thought it was charming the way he sang lyrics in  response to your questions.

2) Thank him!

Tell your husband that you really appreciate his help.  Praise him for his willingness to contribute to the household needs.  Give him the benefit of the doubt that he wasn’t trying to mess things up.  (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)  Look adoringly on your family and tell Faith how cute she looks in that bow you had forgotten all about.  Tell Junior that he is handsome just like his Daddy!  Kiss the baby and mention how much you will miss this stage once he’s grown out of the need for bibs.

3) Pray for yourself

Ask God to grow you in your marriage.  Ask Him to mold you into a wife that is supportive of her husband.  Respectful.  Pray the Lord will help you to see your husband how He sees him and to embrace who he is instead of who you think you want him to be.  Pray for your husband’s well-being, and salvation if necessary, but remember that marriage is a covenant between God and TWO sinners. (Matthew 19:6, Romans 3:23)