By Erica, Contributing Writer

Imagine yourself as a child, walking into an unknown home and finding out you would be staying for hours with nothing to do besides playing with what your mother had stashed away in her purse for you and your siblings. What if all she had in her purse were a few broken crayons, a few scraps of old grocery lists for paper, and three small toys?

Imagine your parents talking for hours consumed with their conversations that they do not notice your boredom or the host’s children lack of restraint when it comes to rough housing with you and calling you names. Each child that enters your home will get an impression of your hospitality as much, if not more, as their parents will.

Accommodating child guests does not always revolve around entertaining children, but making them feel welcome in your home too. The best places I remember as a child were the people who not only had our family over but they made a point to make me feel special for coming to their house to visit too; At my great-grandmother’s house it was a trip to the cookie jar for pink wafer cookies, at my cousins’ house it was being allowed to sit at the adult table instead of the kid table since I was much older than the rest of the cousins.

For myself, not only as a mother, but also a frequent guest in others’ homes, I like to know my children are busy doing things that are constructive, not just deconstructive. I dread the idea of my children making huge messes in faraway bedrooms being tempted to talk about and do things they probably would not do otherwise that is why I believe it’s great to plan ahead and think of them too!

Accommodating children means you should:

 Know their name

Children are attracted to people who show genuine interest in who they are as an individual not as the child of “so and so” or the “brother of _______.”

Think of their age(s)

If you’re a mother with a small baby then a six to ten year old may be bored with playing with baby toys. If you’re a mother whose children are somewhat older than the visiting guests, then it might be nice to think of some age-appropriate activities. A teen might rather be included with the adults rather than be the babysitter for the younger children.

Will you need to baby proof certain rooms of the house? Think of seating as well, will they need a smaller chair or a booster seat? Will they prefer to sit at a table with all children or next to their parents? Do you have a cup that they can drink out of that is good for their age? Is their child comfortable around the type of animal that you have?

Know their personality type and interests

Just be aware of who the child is and what they are interested in so that you can be understanding toward their needs. Not all kids are good at sitting still through a meal and might be very active, some girls just are not interested in playing dress up in the ultimate princess paraphernalia. Other children have disabilities and may require a little more attention from their parents than you might be expecting.

Ask parents first when it comes to entertainment

Everyone is different about they allow their children to see and do. It’s always wise to ask the child’s parent before deciding that any form of entertainment is okay for their children to be involved in. This is especially true when it comes to movies, video games, tablets/phone games, and outdoor activities as well. Defer to the guests’ preferences and be respectful even if they may do different things with their children than you do with yours. You create a trust with guests when you respect them enough to ask them for permission rather than assuming.

Also ask parents first when it comes to passing out food

This may seem redundant with the above point, but we also live in a world full of allergies as well as food preferences (think of the organic crowd). While your entire meal may not be centered around making it entirely child friendly, be mindful of those who are also picky eaters and parents who are watching their child’s diet. Make a choice not to be offended if someone declines your offer for a specific type of food or snack for their child(ren).

Provide activities that require little prep work in a place of safety

Let’s be honest, when we’re chatting with our guests and finishing our meal preparation then we won’t be thinking about what the kids are doing. My advice would be to have a basket of kid-related items ready before they arrive. Then, point them to where it is, and guide them where and how to use those things, and finally allow them the freedom to play.

This will help you have a “controlled” mess with only the items from the basket instead of your entire toy collection being spread throughout the house. Location is everything – place children in a place that gets regular parental supervision for your safety and theirs.

Talking to them and including them in conversation

You can quickly learn about who a child is if you will show some interest in them personally. Inquire about their life, what they like to do, and/or their opinion about the dinner table discussion. Including them in a conversation will help them to realize that you really do care about them, which is one of the goals of hospitality.

Accommodating children does not have to be difficult. It just may require a little more planning and concentrated effort on your part before they arrive. You can step up your hospitality game just by thinking about how to be a blessing to children who visit your home.

Please include any things you may do personally in your home to make children feel welcome in the comments, we would love to read them!

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