Frustrated, Fatigued, and a Hill of Beans
By Marci Seither, Contributing Writer
I can’t remember the exact day, since it has been several years ago, all I remember is being frustrated, fatigued, and fed-up.
Frustrated and Fatigued
Bickering does that to a mom, at least is does to me. Some days our kids, then 10, 9 and 7 were inseparable, other days they were fighting over who got to drink their orange juice from the glass with Speedy Gonzales on it.
“We have 6 glasses with different characters!” I tried to console the one who arrived in the kitchen last. “Pick another one! In fact, they are so small, PICK TWO!”
“But, he got the Speedy Gonzales cup two days in a row.” They sniffed, taking Road Runner instead.
Later that morning, I was having everyone help out with chores so we could do something in the afternoon. It was one small spat after another. No one wanted to help each other. Everyone thought they were being treated unfair. And the Speedy Gonzales cup had already been called dibs on for the next three mornings.
“Please give me strength and wisdom in raising these kids!” I prayed. “Help me to take notice of teachable moments so they understand.”
Then, it happened. The last proverbial straw that broke the mother’s back. Fighting over who had to pick up something small off the floor and who had to sweep.
“Everyone in the living room..now.” I said firmly.
A Hill of Beans
I walked into the kitchen, opened the kitchen cupboard and pulled out a small bag of dried black beans, then walked back in the living room.
My three youngsters stared at me from the couch. Arms crossed in front of their chests.
“I have had enough,” I told them. “Enough arguing. Enough complaining. Enough.”
I split open the bag and let the contents spill out onto the wood floor, bouncing, skittering, and rolling in a wide radius from where I stood. The beans sounded like a percussion instrument. Our kid’s eyes widened. I had never, ever, EVER, done anything like that before, or since.
Calmly I stepped toward the door. “I am going outside while you clean this up. You have a decision to make.” I looked at each of our three kids. “You can either pick this up while bickering and fighting, which will take you a very long time, or you can decide to work together and get the job done more efficiently and quickly. Let me know when you are done.”
I waked out, not knowing what the final result would be and also wondering if the dry beans could be salvaged. At that moment, I was willing to forfeit the $2.99 to make a point.
Twenty minutes later, I was called back into the house by our happy offspring. They cheerfully showed me how they worked together and soon went outside to play while I started dinner.
Now, I am not saying that every mom should go bean crazy on her kids. But I will say this, the Lord hears your plea when you don’t know what to do. He knows what Enough feels like.
The Lord has felt same thing several times, only on a much larger scale. “Noah..build an ark. I have had enough.”
Sometimes negotiating with stickers or trying to follow the best parenting books doesn’t work. I am sure the “bean incident” would not get an endorsement from Dr. Dobson, but I trusted my gut instinct and the point was made.
So my little nugget of advice is this.
Stay the course.
Pray continuously.
Have a sense of humor.
Because one day, before you know it, the kids won’t be cleaning up spilled beans, they will be cleaning out their closets and heading off to college or leaving the nest for an adventure of their own.
What will they remember? Perhaps it will be that time they understood the importance of working together and that there is more to life that Speedy Gonzales cups.
