My husband and I got married at the ripe old age of 19 and 21. I had just finished my second year of college and he was heading into his senior year. And now as we head into our 5th of year of marriage we are busy chasing down our newly crawling 6th month old twin baby boys.

I firmly believe that God calls us all into marriage at different ages. For some it’s at 19, for others it’s at 32, and some don’t get married until their 50’s! God has a special and unique plan for everyone. Some couples are not mature enough, haven’t come to the Lord yet, or are not ready to get married until later in life. Aaron shared his story with us yesterday about how he got married later in life, perfectly in God’s plans and His will!

Pros of getting married younger

One of the most beautiful things about getting married young is that we have grown up together. Our faith in the Lord has grown, we have learned how to handle money, and are now tackling what it means to be parents. The Lord has grown us up together and we wouldn’t have it any other way!

“Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth” ~ Proverbs 5:18

 

Our Daily Habits Form Together

Except for a brief 10 months of living on campus in dorm rooms, my husband and I lived at home our whole lives before getting married. We had no established routines, pickyness, or weird habits {mostly}. We didn’t have an established routine that was all our own.

When we got married we had to figure our our own habits of doing things. But we didn’t have to do it alone, we built up our daily habits together. 

I have seen a lot of older couples struggle to mesh their lives together as a married couple, when they had lived on their own for years beforehand. They have habits that were established on their own. They didn’t have to account to anyone else for their time.

But then suddenly after 10 years of freedom they are forced to live with someone totally different. Someone who leaves the toilet seat up, doesn’t pick up dishes, leaves wet towels on the ground and uses time very differently than they do. It can be a really hard adjustment.

What I love and appreciate is that God placed my husband and I together at a young age. We largely didn’t have these problems. Yes, my hubby has to have his toothpaste tube a certain way but I don’t mind because we can do these little things for each other.

Our Interests & Likes Develop Together

We have been able to discover things that we like doing as adults! We get to learn our passions together. We are able to discover that we both love to take bike rides and make it a priority to do so together and now as a family of 4!

By getting married young, we were able to develop habits and patterns together, and it has been an incredible blessing from God.

We Easily Share Money

My husband and I had nothing when we got married. We rented a great little one bed room apartment. We didn’t have a lot, but we didn’t need a whole lot.

We have grown into our money together. We certainly are not rich now, but compared to where we started out, it seems like it!

We have learned how to deal with money together. We learned what it means to make a budget and stick to it! We learned what it means to finally have some extra money and blow it all on eating out and to get to the end of the month with nothing to show for it. There have been hard lessons learned along the way but those lessons were always learned, hand in hand, side by side.

And most importantly, we always knew that money was both of ours. I have never felt that money was mine or his. We have always been very transparent with money with each other. We don’t have fights about money {usually}. We share it very easily {usually, there are of course occasional off days ;)}.

This has created a beautiful environment of accountability and trust. They say that money is the biggest cause of strife in a marriage, and I can certainly see why this would be the case.

I am not saying that those who lived on their own for 10 years and had a great career won’t have a good marriage when it comes to money. I just know that, for us, it has made life easier. It makes me sad to hear of married couples who have separate bank accounts and don’t discuss money together. Sadly this happens often when couples get married older. If we are to be one within marriage, why doesn’t that extend to money?

The Cons of Getting Married Young

I’m ALL for getting married young – if it’s the right time for you and your honey! But I don’t think getting married young is for everyone. Many 19 year olds {especially in our culture today} are not ready to get married and they should wait until God’s perfect timing in made clear.

We didn’t have two penny’s to rub together when we were first married. We didn’t own a home. We didn’t have amazing paying jobs or huge bank accounts. Finances have been tight at times and we’ve had a lot of growing up to do {and still do}!

I think the biggest negative of getting married young is if you rush marriage and don’t make wise choices. Not everyone should get married young but marriage before 25 also shouldn’t be illegal!

Marrying at the right time

For my husband and I, the right time to get married was at 19 and 22. And while we don’t yet have 20 or 30 years of marriage under our belt, our first 4 years have been easier and happier than many marriages we know. We attribute that all to God – and following His leading for the perfect time to get married.