When Jason and I got married, we did so with a few understandings between us already established.

1. Jason would be the primary provider for our family

2. I would stay home full time once we had kids

3. We would homeschool our kids

We both came into marriage with these three expectations. We both desired these three things and have always worked towards them in our marriage.

Please note: I do not think that every family has to look just like this. I’m not saying I think everyone has to fit this exact mold. Rather, I hope to share our experience and our commitments with you in sharing our decision for me to be a stay at home mom.

Our focus and priorities

In college, our focus for Jason was finding something he was passionate about but that could also become a career. And 3 weeks before he graduated college, he was starting a new promotion into a great  job that has become his career {all the praise goes to God}. I have always worked in our marriage and have worked full time since finishing college.

But we knew that the day we brought our first baby home, I would stay home full time. It was always our goal and always in our planning. We were given the opportunity 8 months ago for me to quit my full time job to stay home as a stay at home wife. We made this decision and a month later found out we were pregnant…with twins! 

Why I am going to stay home

1) God has convicted both of our hearts that staying home is where I need to be. He has shown us that as the keeper of my home, my place needs to be in the home.

“They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” ~ Titus 2:4-5

2) I am called to be a homemaker and know that I could personally not serve my family the way I need to if I had a full time career outside the home. 

3) I want to be there for all the precious moments of my babies’ lives. I want to see their first step and hear their first word, not hear about these things from the baby sitter. I want my husband and I to be the primary people instructing our children in the Word of God and how to be Godly individuals in day to day life.

4) I want to serve my family the way that God intended and the best way for me to be able to do that is to stay home.

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How we are making it work

I know that many people desire to stay home but simply feel that they cannot afford it. My friend Erin from The Humbled Homemaker shares her experience with wanting to stay home when they couldn’t afford it.

One of the biggest things that has allowed for me to stay home is that we planned for it. Like I said, this was always our goal and all our decisions went towards this end. All career and life decisions were made in light of this and it really helped. We always knew what our end goal was.

If you are struggling with this, does your husband even know this is your goal? Have you expressed to him how much you desire to stay home {and why you desire to stay home}? And yes, times are tight sometimes. When we decided 8 months ago that I would quit my job and stay home full time, it was sooner than we expected. I always assumed I would work up until I was 9 months pregnant and popping and then stay home from then on. But God was gracious and that time came sooner than we thought. But with that decision also means we are only living off one income.

We don’t have a lot of extra money to spend and saving can be difficult, but the end, is so worth it. No, we cannot go out to movies or eat out often. I don’t buy new clothes or spend money on cable TV. But none of those things are important in light of what we are getting in exchange: I am home.

I get to greet my hubby when he walks in the door each night. I make him homemade breakfast, lunch, and dinner {most days}. I have time to keep my house clean {When I’m not laying on the couch exhausted with contractions which seems to be happening more frequently these days}. I have time to bargain hunt and save money on groceries.

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The benefits of staying home

I can actually be there to bond with my husband at night and focus all of my attention on him instead of running to the grocery store after work, making dinner, cleaning up dinner, trying to throw a load of laundry in, get some writing done, 10 other things and then falling into bed exhausted all to do it again tomorrow. Trust me, my husband LOVES that I stay home. I write all of this to encourage you.

I know that many of you want to stay home and simply don’t know how it could happen. I urge you to pray. Seek the Lord’s will and start working towards your goal! It may take a while but strategically start planning your day to day activities with that goal in mind {i.e. do you REALLY need to make that trip to the mall?}.

At the end of the day, I get so much more enjoyment and fulfillment out of taking care of my family than a career. I know some women are concerned that they will not feel “fulfilled” if they “simply” stay home. But I think God has given us the ultimate mission field. We are caring for our husbands in a way that refreshes them and helps them leave our house each morning to enter their own mission field. We are training up our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord {Ephesians 6:4}.

I couldn’t imagine leaving these tasks to anyone else. Sometimes life as a stay at home wife or mother can seem mundane but at the end of the day I think God has given us one of the most important tasks. He has given us the task to care for our family, the basic unit of society. Who else can do a better job than a mom?

This post is part of my Natural Pregnancy & Beyond Series. Catch up on all the posts in this series:

1. Introduction
2. Young, In Love, and Pregnant: Our Journey To Parenthood
3. Our Maternity Photo Shoot
4. 7 Reasons We Are Starting a Family Young
5. My Dream of Becoming a Stay at Home Mom: How We Made it a Reality
6. Crowning Him in Worship: Reflections on Redeeming Childbirth
7. 10 Steps Towards a Natural Pregnancy & Birth